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Stop obsessing over ROAS (I can see you checking it right now)

Breaking: Marketer discovers seasons affect ROAS 🤯

Author

Mahmoud Omar
November 23, 2024

In partnership with

🦆 The Great ROAS Rollercoaster
Where marketing metrics meet mallard mayhem

🎢 The Great ROAS Rollercoaster of Doom

Well, well, well... if it isn't another marketer having a mental breakdown over their fluctuating ROAS. Waddles over with popcorn

Look, my fellow digital warriors, I hate to burst your perfectly optimized bubble, but your ROAS is about as stable as a duck trying to ice skate. And guess what? That's completely normal. Gasp

Key findings from my totally scientific investigation:

  • 82% of marketers forget holidays exist
  • 93% blame the algorithm when sales drop
  • 100% need a hug

📰 Industry News Roundup: The Good, The Bad, and The Quacky

Meta Announces New AI Features
Translation: More ways for your ads to be rejected automatically

Google Updates Analytics... Again
Because apparently, the last 47 updates weren't confusing enough

TikTok Introduces Advanced Performance Metrics
Great, more numbers to obsess over during your 3 AM anxiety spiral

💡 Quick Tips (That Actually Work, Unlike Those LinkedIn Threads)

  1. Stop checking your ROAS every 5 minutes. It won't make it grow faster. Trust me, I've tried.
  2. Set realistic seasonal benchmarks. December ≠ January (shocking, I know)
  3. Factor in industry trends. If your dog food brand's ROAS tanks during National Cat Day, maybe don't panic?

🏆 Success Story: "I Stopped Caring and My Results Improved"

Meet Sarah, a recovering ROAS-aholic who finally admitted that obsessing over daily ROAS fluctuations was as productive as a duck wearing shoes. She implemented monthly reviews instead and gasp started having a life again.

"Sometimes the best optimization is no optimization."

🎯 Take Action (Just One Thing, I Promise)

This week's challenge: Log out of your analytics for 24 hours straight. Yes, a full day. No, checking on mobile doesn't count. Track how many times you try to log in and donate $1 to charity for each attempt. You're welcome, charity organizations.

Until next week, keep floating above the marketing chaos!

🦆 Your favorite marketing truth-teller

P.S. No ROASes were harmed in the making of this newsletter

#DuckTheAlgorithm #MarketingHumor #ROASlife

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