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Critical Duck Theory: My $10 Boosted Post Made Millions!

But My Nephew Says Boosted Posts Are The Future!

Author

Mahmoud Omar
December 24, 2024

In partnership with

WhatzDuck Newsletter

Because your cousin's Facebook success story needs a reality check 🙄

🦆 Duck Quote of the Week

"Ah yes, another small business owner claiming 40x ROAS from boosted posts. And I'm actually a swan in disguise."

🔍 Weird Duck Stats

"100% of small business owners who claim 40x ROAS from boosted posts also believe their nephew is a 'social media expert' because he has 127 TikTok followers."

🤨 What The Duck Moment

So you're telling me you spent $10 on a boosted post, made $400, and now you're ready to teach a masterclass? Hold my breadcrumbs while I try not to laugh my feathers off. Next, you'll tell me your Instagram engagement pod is 'organic growth'.

The Big Splash: Let's Decode That "40x ROAS" Fantasy

1. The "Creative" Math Department:

  • • Counting your mom's purchase (she would've bought anyway)
  • • Including that one viral share from your business bestie
  • • Adding revenue from customers who found you through their psychic
  • • Calculating ROAS like your tax returns - creatively

2. The Reality Check (Warning: May Cause Crying):

  • • Your $10 boost reached your aunt's knitting circle
  • • Those 'amazing results' included your existing customers
  • • Your viral moment lasted shorter than a duck's attention span
  • • The algorithm is laughing at your "growth hack"

The Quacktic (Reality Edition)

Want real ROAS? Stop counting your neighbor's pity purchases and start tracking like a professional:
• Actual customer acquisition cost (No, Karen, your sister-in-law doesn't count)
• Real attribution (Beyond "I think they saw my boost")
• Complete customer journey (Not just that one magical boosted post)

🎯 Weekly WADDLE Poll

How do you calculate your ROAS?

🦆 "Like a responsible adult with actual data"

🎲 "I boost posts and manifest success in my vision board"

📊 "Whatever number impresses my local networking group"

🏃‍♂️ "Math is hard, let's go shopping"

Remember: Just because your cousin's dog walker's sister got "amazing results" from a boosted post doesn't mean it's a sustainable marketing strategy.

-WhatzDuck 🦆

P.S. Next week: "Why Your MLM Friend's Social Media Strategy Isn't Actually Working"

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